


wait for me to come home

by thekaidonovskys



Series: we found love in a hopeless place [6]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - BDSM, Dom Clint Barton, Dom Steve Rogers, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Sub Bucky Barnes, Sub Phil Coulson
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-18
Updated: 2015-08-08
Packaged: 2018-04-09 23:01:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 16,460
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4367615
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thekaidonovskys/pseuds/thekaidonovskys
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Of all the things we could have anticipated, I don’t think anybody expected my supposedly dead, brainwashed submissive trying to take down SHIELD and assassinate me.”</p>
<p>[In the aftermath of the Winter Soldier, Steve needs comfort more than ever]</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is where we become partially compliant with The Winter Soldier. In this AU, the events with Bucky/Winter Soldier appearing and fighting Steve and saving his life, etc, all occur, but Fury doesn’t die and SHIELD isn’t hit quite so hard. And of course all of the Agents of SHIELD events that happen subsequent to/because of The Winter Soldier don’t happen since we’re non-compliant with AoS. Basically, things stay the same as they have been in this verse, except suddenly Bucky.

So, the mind controlled, alternate personality, shell of a man who was once James Buchanan Barnes, has been and gone. And he couldn’t have shaken up more lives if he’d tried.

None more so than Steve’s, of course.

The only ones who don't avoid Steve in the immediate aftermath are Natasha, Clint, and Phil. Nobody's avoiding him out of any bad or misguided reasoning - it's probably good that Steve doesn't have too much pressure right now. Everybody in the tower knows what James Barnes was to Steve, and nobody, including Steve, knows who - or what - James Barnes is now.

Steve does his best to stay strong, but after the first few days of putting on a brave face and showing up for team dinners and briefings, it’s clearly all too much, and he escapes to the safety of his rooms. Tony sets up JARVIS to report if there’s any serious cause for worry, and nearly everybody leaves him to it. Natasha’s often seen slipping into his room once or twice a day, usually with food or coffee. She never stays long, and it never really seems like they talk when she’s in there, but the others trust that she knows what she’s doing. Otherwise, he’s left to himself and his thoughts.

And that’s how it’s been for the past week, and how it is when Clint and Phil get back from their op. They’ve been out for close to a month, first with a larger team, then just the two of them in isolation, tracking rogue traders and unable to come out of hiding until they’d gotten them all. As such (and just as anticipated and worried about, back when they’d only had inklings that something was going to happen), they missed the entire coming and going of the Winter Soldier - they’d been kept abreast of events, but had no way to get in touch with Steve or the team. They could only listen in horror and worry and hope for the best.

This definitely isn’t the best.

The second they're back, they head for Steve's rooms. Natasha had met them at SHIELD and talked them through a lot of the details they’ve missed - including Fury’s very close brush with death - and particularly focused on how Steve’s been coping. The overall answer is not well, and Clint has acknowledged that Steve might want nothing to do with them right now, but they have to try.

Phil, particularly, needs to. He’s had a couple of times with Steve since Clint made the offer of Steve ‘borrowing’ Phil, and he’s heard a few stories about Bucky - but, more importantly, heard the raw pain still in Steve’s voice when he had been trying to come to terms with his submissive’s death.

He’s got a lot more to come to terms with now. And if Phil can help with that in any way, he’s damn well going to.

Steve actually opens the door, which is a surprise, and he looks like hell, which isn’t. Phil desperately wants to hug him, and he knows Clint is fairly tempted to do the same, but neither of them make a move. “Hey,” Clint says quietly.

“Hi,” Steve says. “Good to see you both back. How was your mission?”

“More or less successful,” Clint says, and Steve nods. “We were kept in the loop while we were gone. Wanted to drop by and see how… how things are.”

Steve smiles, a small, wry thing that just hurts to see. “Yeah,” he says with a shrug. “Things. You can probably imagine… well, no, actually, you can’t, and I’m glad.”

“I kind of can,” Phil says very quietly. “Just a little bit.”

Steve frowns at him for a bit, then glances back at Clint and nods in understanding. “You probably can,” he agrees. “Why don’t you two come in?”

Clint squeezes Phil’s hand hard as they follow Steve, and Phil returns it quickly to indicate that he’s fine. He knows Clint will probably drag him into conversation later about Loki, but right now they’ve got Steve to focus on. Steve, who’s collapsed onto a couch that looks like it’s probably been slept on a fair bit; Steve who looks exhausted and wrung out and just so _sad_.

Phil doesn’t even know where they can start with this, and just follows Clint’s lead, sitting down next to him on the opposite couch. Phil’s been on his knees at Clint’s feet in front of Steve before, and usually would without hesitation, but Phil's sitting up next to Clint today because the last thing he wants is to upset Steve by being too subby.

Steve scrubs his hands over his face and through his hair. “You spoke to Natasha?” he asks.

“Yeah,” Clint says. “She filled us in on most of what she knew.”

“She knew about as much as I did. HYDRA infiltrated - and I think they’re still working out the depths of that, apparently there were all sorts of plots and double agents and, to be perfectly frank, shit I don’t care about right now. SHIELD’s gonna sort itself out, especially with Phil back.”

Phil smiles a little, but brushes it aside. As Steve’s pointed out, this isn’t really the topic they want to focus on right now. “And… and he was HYDRA?” he asks carefully.

“What they made him was,” Steve says quietly. “ _He_ wasn’t. He _isn’t_.”

There’s a long silence. Phil knows he and Clint are both trying to word the same delicate question: how can Steve really be sure? Phil’s dealt with double agents before and knows how convincing they can be, and while it kills to think that Steve’s sub might have been playing him all that time, it’s a possibility that has to be considered.

“I know what you’re thinking,” Steve says after a moment, and they both look up guiltily. “I can’t even be mad about it. But Bucky didn’t double cross me. HYDRA as good as admitted that the Winter Soldier was 100% programmed. The… the _thing_ that attacked me was just using Bucky’s body as a shell. It wasn’t him.”

And while that's a relief, Phil now finds himself wondering just how exactly the shell of Bucky came to be filled by a machine - and where the rest of Bucky ended up in the process.

He doesn’t mention it. Neither does Clint. “Where were the others?” Clint asks. “From what I heard, it was just you and Tasha.”

“And Sam,” Steve adds, with a very small but genuine smile. “He’s a good guy. I’ll introduce you. As for the others… well, that’s very interesting. Thor got a call from Jane’s lab, telling him she'd gone missing. He flew out there in a panic, spent close to a week searching for her, before finding out that she’d been pulled in for a top secret experiment which she thought everybody had been told about. By the time he got back, it was all over. Tony, meanwhile, is called to Australia of all places, because apparently the remains of one of his suits has been hidden deep in the outback and is powering some top secret facility out there. He and Pepper went out, got led on their own wild chase, and made it back just in time to help with cleanup.”

Clint sighs. “Bruce?”

“Got told that the community he used to work with were struggling with dire health conditions. That turned out to be true, but they’d been struggling for awhile. The timing was too perfect.”

“As was the fact that our op ran over due to stupid fuck ups,” Clint says, shaking his head. “And probably the fact that we were sent at all - it was a milk run that a group of juniors could easily have taken care of."

“How did Natasha avoid getting pulled into anything?” Phil asks.

“She flat refused,” Steve says. “Said she needed to be here - and she’d promised Clint, apparently.”

“She had,” Clint confirms. “Not a hard promise for her to make. Any time my warning bells are going off, hers are twice as loud. We both knew shit was going to go down… only we didn’t expect this.”

Steve laughs bitterly. “Nobody did. Of all the things we could have anticipated, I don’t think anybody expected my supposedly dead, brainwashed submissive trying to take down SHIELD and assassinate me.”

Steve closes his eyes and takes a few deep breaths. He’s clearly trying not to cry, and it’s nothing short of heartbreaking. "Do you want a hug?" Phil asks, before he can really think it through.

Steve glances at Clint, then tentatively nods. "Yeah. Is that...?"

Phil looks at Clint, who smiles. "Go ahead, sweetheart."

Phil leaves their couch and crosses to Steve's chair. Steve makes room for Phil to cuddle in, and Phil rests his head against Steve's chest, smiling a little as Steve hugs him. Phil still marvels at how it feels to be hugged by Steve - because despite being held by his hero of many, many years, it's still nothing on how Clint makes him feel. It's a wonderful, constant reminder that Clint is it for Phil. Not even Captain America could drag him away from his Dom.

But Phil isn’t thinking on that right now - he’s focused on doing whatever he can to help Steve feel at least a little better. Which, for right now, just seems to be staying still and listening if Steve feels like talking.

Steve sighs after a bit. "He's a Dom," he says. “The Soldier. A fucking _Rank One_ Dom.”

"Jesus," Clint says quietly. “James is a ninety-three isn't he?"

"Yeah. So it'd be like making Phil think he's a Dom. Bucky was good at portraying neutral too, but he's no Dom - the Winter Soldier is, though, and that’s why it’s so obvious that the Soldier _isn’t_ my Bucky. They’re two completely separate people. When the Soldier’s in charge, Bucky’s just _nowhere_. That’s not him.”

“But… you think James is still in there?”

"I saw him," Steve says quietly. "Just for a few seconds, I saw my Bucky. I know he's still there."

”If you saw him, then he saw you,” Clint says, sounding about as relieved as Phil feels. “His Steve. His Dom. And that would have meant something, no matter how far away they've put him. He saved you, after all."

"And then he _left_.” Steve sounds raw but worn out, as if he’s had this conversation a hundred times already. Phil imagines he has; not only with Natasha, but in his own mind. “If he saved me, why would he leave?”

"He's got two people fighting inside him," Clint says. "James probably has limited control. He got out enough to save you, but the Soldier probably took over again.”

“And even when he does have control, maybe he's not feeling worthy," Phil murmurs, because it has to be said. "I've been tempted to hide from Doms before when I feel like I did something wrong. He’s probably scared.”

“I’m sorry, Phil,” Steve says, “but that’s really not making me feel better.”

“I know. But I think that more than anything might be the thing to bring him back - he has amends to make, and he knows he needs you. He's fighting the Soldier and fighting himself and fighting to get back to you. As long as he’s still in there, and if he’s even half the man you’ve told me about, then he’ll make his way back to you, Steve. Don’t give up on him.”

“I never would,” Steve says quietly. “That’s one thing I could never do.” Steve gives Phil one last tight squeeze, then lets him go. "Thank you," he says as Phil stands. "Both of you. But I'd like some time to myself now."

Clint stands too and takes Phil's hand. "You look after yourself," he says. "We're here if you need us."

Steve nods, but it’s clear that what he needs right now is to be alone. After a few quick goodbyes, Clint and Phil show themselves out, leaving Steve to his thoughts once more.

Once they're in the lift, Phil glances at Clint. He knows the worry is obvious in his eyes, knows his Dom will read it at a glance, and sure enough Clint is there immediately, arms around Phil tight. "It's not your job to fix him, sweet boy," Clint murmurs. "I know he appreciated your support, but this is one of those things he has to do alone. I knew what it was like to not have you, but I've never lost you, and you've never been in a situation where you didn't know I would be there in a heartbeat if you asked for me. We can empathise and feel for him, but we can't understand."

Phil sighs. “I hate seeing him like that,” he says. “I hope James comes back.”

"Me too. Until then, we'll be here for Steve - you have permission to go to him whenever he asks for the next while.”

“Thanks. I know SHIELD will have all available resources out trying to find the Soldier - I know they’re limited right now and the whole place is a bit of a mess, but I’ll speak with Fury. If nothing else… Steve at least needs a chance to try and talk to him.”

Clint nods. “And anybody who knows anything about the legends of Captain America know of James Barnes. Once they know the two are the same, they’ll do what they can to bring him in alive, I’m sure of it. SHIELD has given many more chances to much worse people.”

“You’d better not be including yourself in that list.”

“Hired assassin?” Phil’s eyes narrow, and Clint raises his hands. “Okay, let’s not fight this battle right now. My point is, if there’s a chance of breaking past the Winter Soldier to bring back James Barnes, severely distressed submissive of Steve Rogers, I think SHIELD will take it. If nothing else, it’ll help with credibility and redemption, and SHIELD needs a bit of that right now.”

“I think there’s a chance of finding him,” Phil says quietly. “I hope so, at least.”

“Me too.”

They’re quiet until they reach their rooms, until they’ve both showered and stored their gear and Phil’s settled at Clint’s feet, finally fully off duty. “The question is,” Phil murmurs, “what will they find if they do find him?”

Clint sighs. “I just don’t know,” he says. “When - when my mind was being controlled, my mind was still in there. But with James, if what Steve’s saying is correct, they’ve put another mind in there. Is there room for two of them?”

“Steve seems to think so.”

“For his sake, I hope he’s right in what he saw. If we find the Soldier and James isn’t in there, it’ll crush Steve. But the fact that Steve’s alive _must_ be proof that he’s in there somewhere. When it came down to it, he failed to take out his target, and no assassin does that unless they have a reason to care. The Soldier didn’t care about anybody or anything - which means something in there did care about Steve.”

Phil nods, resting against Clint’s leg. “I’d fight the world to get back to you,” he says. “My own mind, or whatever programming had been put into it, I’d fight twice as hard. And we know James has always been a fighter.”

Clint strokes his hair. “We can only hope,” he says.

Phil closes his eyes and begins to do just that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't think I even need to tell you what to expect next chapter.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There’s no easy way to put it. "It's the Winter Soldier,” Phil says. “He’s here."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Brief disclaimer that I haven't watched TWS. My excellent beta eirwyn did the editing and hopefully picked up on anything I got wrong, but all mistakes in relation to canon are mine.

It’s near the end of a long day, and Phil's just about to pack up and head home when his phone rings. He glances at the ID, sighs, and picks up - Fury doesn't take well to his calls being missed. "Coulson," he says, entirely unaware that this is the last moment of normal life he's about to have for the next several weeks.

"We've found the Winter Soldier."

Phil freezes, then stands. "Where is he?"

"Containment. He's asking for Rogers."

"I'll call him, and I'm on my way."

He rings off, and immediately calls Steve as he heads out of his office, trying to walk fast and think fast at the same time. "Hey, Phil," Steve greets cheerfully. "Clint and I were just talking about you -"

"Steve," Phil interrupts, "get to ground base now."

"What's wrong?"

There’s no easy way to put it. "It's the Winter Soldier,” Phil says. “He’s here."

There's a muffled thud, then the sound of someone picking the phone up. “Phil?” Clint asks. “Steve looks like he's seen a ghost, what -“

“That’s a pretty accurate way of putting it,” Phil says, taking a flight of stairs three at a time. “The Soldier’s shown up. I don’t know any more than that, other than that he wants Steve and he wants him now.”

"I'll bring him," Clint says. "Twenty minutes. Containment?"

"Yes. I'll be waiting."

Clint hangs up and Phil quickens his pace. He enters the containment observation room and makes his way along the bay of windows until he's level with Fury. Fury nods without looking at him, and Phil turns to look into the room.

And to get his first real look at the Winter Soldier.

“Go on, then,” Fury says after a moment. “Biggest Captain America fanboy still in existence, you must know everything about this one too. Is that genuinely James Barnes?”

“That is definitely James Barnes," Phil murmurs. "There is also no way that that is James Barnes.”

"Thanks for clearing that one up. You know he just walked in? Straight off the street, found the nearest agent and told them who he was. Said he wanted to talk to Captain America and he’d wait as long as it took for them to find him.”

Phil takes that in. “Who did the asking?” he eventually asks.

Fury nods. “That’s the question. And why does he need to see Rogers - to reconcile, or to complete his mission?”

“We’ll find out when Steve gets here.”

“We’ve got a lot to find out. Right now, all I know is that we've got a weapon in that room, and I’ve got half a mind to destroy it before it gets the chance to go off.”

“If it does at all,” Phil says calmly. “The only way we’ll know is when he sees Steve. If the reaction is bad, then we go from there.”

“You think Rogers would ever advocate for anything other than trying to save him?”

“If you knew your loved one was completely gone and that the only thing left of him was his body, controlled by a machine programmed by the enemy, would you tarnish his memory by allowing it to survive?” Fury doesn’t reply, but his silence says enough. “I wouldn’t either,” Phil says quietly. “But I think - and Steve definitely thinks - that James is still in there. And that’s what matters.”

There’s nothing else said for awhile, as they both watch Bucky. He’s pacing along the far wall, exactly seven perfectly measured steps each way, and his eyes are fixed on the ground. He doesn’t seem agitated or frightened, but he certainly isn’t comfortable. And he certainly isn’t Bucky - at least not right now. The frozen mask of his features is the same as that of the Soldier in all the footage Phil’s seen, and nothing at all like the cheerful, relaxed expressions known of James Barnes.

But he’s here.

The door opens, and Phil looks over to see Clint and Steve approaching. Clint's got a tight hold on Steve's elbow, and Steve is white. Phil steps aside, giving Steve room to look in the window, then grabs his other arm when Steve slumps a little and closes his eyes. "Hey, easy," Clint murmurs. "Whatever frame of mind he's in, he's safe now."

"Has he said anything?" Steve asks.

"He's asked for you. Nothing other than that.”

"You're cleared to go in," Fury says, "but you're not to try to get close to him. We don't know what his programming might do."

Phil holds out an earpiece, which Steve takes. "Put it in. If we need you out, you leave. Got it?"

Steve nods, takes a deep breath, then gently shakes them both off and heads for the door. Clint steps closer to Phil, not quite touching him, and glances over at Fury. "Who's running the show on this one?" he asks.

"Coulson, if he'll take it."

Phil nods. "I was going to offer. I've learned some information from Captain Rogers, but I'll need all the files we..."

Phil falls silent as they all stare at James Barnes, kneeling in front of Steve with his head bowed. His shaking is visible from the observation room, and Steve is staring, eyes wide.

_That_ is James Barnes.

" _Bucky_ ," Steve eventually murmurs.

And it's like throwing a switch. Bucky scrambles to his feet and backs away until he hits the corner of the room. "Don't come near me," he says, his voice a low growl. "Don't you fucking touch me. I'm not yours, and I'll kill you if you try."

Steve, to his credit, keeps a neutral expression. "Okay," he says calmly. "That's okay. I'll stay right here. You're safe, Bucky."

"Stop calling me that."

"Would you prefer James? James Buchanan Barnes?"

Bucky shakes his head wildly. "Leave," he growls. "Or I'll have you leaving in a fucking body bag."

"Didn't you ask for me?"

"What?"

"You asked for me. For Captain America… for Steve."

Bucky flinches, and for a second the eyes staring out at Steve are frightened and confused and so human - and then the mask slots back. "Only to check that my target was still alive, so I could have the pleasure of killing him myself."

"Okay," Steve says again. "So now what?"

"What?"

"You've got me here. You want to kill me. What now?"

Phil lifts his radio. "Don't goad him," he says. Steve just keeps his eyes fixed on Bucky, who, Phil can now hear, is growling under his breath, low and feral. Any traces of James have disappeared again. "Okay, Steve, out," Phil orders.

"I'll leave you to think that over," Steve says and starts stepping backwards. "If you want to talk again, I won't be far away."

For a second, Bucky looks like he's going to fly at Steve and attack him, but instead he skulks back to his corner and stands at parade rest, eyes on the ground. It's unnervingly familiar to Phil - a position he's been put into himself by former Doms for disobedience - and his heart aches as he takes Bucky in. No matter what the Winter Soldier programming says, that isn’t a Dom in there.

Fury turns away from the window. "Thoughts?"

"He's a distressed sub," Phil murmurs.

"He's an abuse victim," Clint says, just as softly.

Steve enters. “He’s still alive," he says, his voice shaking. "Director, I need a room set up on this floor, next door if possible. I'm not leaving until Bucky's back - and he is coming back, of that I’m damn certain.”

Phil nods. "I'm staying too," he says. "I'll take responsibility for him, and as a fellow submissive I might be able to help."

"I've had people exert their force on me," Clint adds, looking at the ground. "I've had my mind controlled, by Loki and by... in earlier days. I think I can help too."

"I'll make it happen," Fury says and, with one last glance at Bucky, leaves.

As soon as he's gone, Phil steps a little closer to Clint, who glances at him and reads all he needs to. "I'm okay, sweet boy," he murmurs, then pitches his voice a little louder to include Steve. "You've told us bits and pieces about him, Steve, and we know what happened with the programming. But will you tell us more?"

"Everything I can," Steve says. "Like you both said, you're the two best men for the job. But it won't be easy."

***

It is, in fact, just about the furthest thing from easy.

The rest of the evening is spent learning - about Bucky, about his ‘death’, and about who he returned as. Steve tells them everything he can about what HYDRA did, and when Fury returns he adds the information that SHIELD has managed to compile. While he’s so far been non-compliant with medical and psychological testing, they’ve at least been able to confirm that there are two ‘people’ residing in the one body - two different brain patterns, varied enough that it’s clear that they don’t belong together. In theory, this means that it should be possible for Bucky to regain complete control and push the Soldier to the back of his mind.

In theory, the world is a much easier place.

But they’ve got ideas on how to make a start. The three agree that Steve needs to go in non-combative, and appealing only to Bucky - the goal isn’t to destroy the Soldier, but to bring Bucky to the forefront again. Only once he’s back in control can SHIELD get in to run the tests necessary to work out how to extract the HYDRA-created personality.

They hope.

There’s a lot of hope in all this - but Steve has hope in spades. Now that he’s seen his submissive again, it’s clear that he’s not letting go, not for anything. And Clint and Phil, not only for Steve but for their own personal reasons, are just as committed to bringing Bucky back.

When they finally part ways to their rooms, Clint turns clingy, holding Phil for a long time in perfect silence and stillness. Phil, who has more than a little bit of an idea of why, doesn’t argue. Helping Steve and Bucky is going to take a lot out of both of them, and outside of this room they need to be completely in control. Inside, however, they’ll take what they need from each other and help the other get through it.

***

As horrible as it sounds, the first few days are fascinating.

Phil’s taken off all his other duties and placed on near-permanent observation. Steve also spends a lot of time in the observation room, but Clint - off-duty for the time being - does his best to get Steve out as much as he can. As much as they know Steve needs to be near his submissive, it’s also important for Phil to be able to observe without any bias. He’s been told who Bucky was (and presumably still is); now he needs to know what the Soldier is.

After the first three days, Phil takes his report to Fury.

“He’s a machine,” Phil states flatly.

Fury nods. “He wasn’t designed to be human. He's designed to be the perfect assassin - no moral qualms, no susceptibility to human needs. He can go days without food or water, seems almost immune to extreme temperatures, and barely slows when injured. Sensation is not something he's trained to feel.”

“And they designed him to have complete control over James’ body and mind, to use him as a vessel if you will. But we know that failed - so the design clearly wasn’t flawless.”

“Ideas why?”

Phil shrugs a little. “My best guess is that our own bodies are the one thing we’re certain of owning our whole lives - they’re ours. And yes, we’re much more than them, we’re soul and heart and personality and all those important things. But the body we own is the one tangible and physical thing we know we have. And if someone else just comes in and takes over and you’re still there watching them do things with your body that you don’t want done… well, ask Clint. Except please don’t ask Clint. Point is, that’s still James. There’s something else in there trying to take control, but they’re taking something that belongs to him. And he’s still there to fight for it.”

“So you’re saying… what? Home field advantage?”

“I think so. I suppose there’s a reason they must have needed to keep James alive to be able to put the Soldier in, but it was their biggest mistake. He’s fighting, Nick. And sometimes he gets through - and those moments are the most telling.”

Fury nods, flicking through the pages of Phil’s report. “How many more times have you seen James?”

“Just once.” And Phil has to smile. “Steve told us what his favourite meal was. We got it delivered last night, and for a moment there was actual delight in his eyes - and he didn't eat how he normally does. He savoured it.”

“Interesting. Keep me posted.”

Phil pauses a moment. “There’s one more thing.”

“Oh?”

“It’s… less substantiated. This isn’t my professional opinion talking - this is me speaking as a submissive.”

Fury raises an eyebrow. “Go ahead.”

“There are submissive traits surfacing. Simple things; how he holds himself when a Dom enters the room, the way he seems to send himself to the corner if he's in trouble.” Phil sighs and shrugs. “It might be me jumping to conclusions - all that could just be Soldier programming.”

“But it could also be a sign that the submissive in him is, for lack of a better word, awake.” Fury nods and makes a note. “Keep watching. You’re sending Rogers back in tomorrow?”

“Yes. He’s going to talk to James about the past, see if that brings out any kind of reaction. We think the Soldier flares up with aggression when he knows James is close to the surface. While we don’t want to antagonize him, we do need to see what we’re fighting against to get James free.”

“Be careful. Alert me if there’s anything I need to know.”

Phil nods and leaves. He’s got a lot more observing to do.

***

Steve starts spending a few hours every day in Bucky's room. Sometimes he sits in silence, watching Bucky pace and listening to whatever the Soldier spits at him. Other times he talks, only ever to Bucky, and always about simple things; about their past, about things in the new world that Bucky will have to get used to once he’s on the outside again, about Steve’s friends and teammates.

Natasha shows up every now and then, watching without expression. She also brings along Sam, who is kind and intriguing (and the only true neutral Phil has ever met in his life). He spends time talking with Steve, going over ideas of how to get through to Bucky.

For the most part, nothing seems to change. The Soldier continues to threaten to kill Steve, tries to attack everybody who enters the room, and begins hoarding all manner of items. It’s a clear survival tactic, and he’s allowed to continue it as long as he doesn’t get a hold of anything potentially dangerous.

(“ _Potentially_ dangerous,” Clint says, rolling his eyes when he hears that. “He’s a soldier and assassin - everything is a potential weapon. He’ll take out an eye with that hair band, you just watch.”)

Phil takes notes by day and goes over them with Clint and Steve by night. They all read the same, and every day it gets a little harder for Steve to keep his brave expression in place. Right now it seems almost impossible to figure out how to break through the Soldier and bring Steve’s submissive back.

Except…

Well, Phil’s been watching. And not quite everything Phil sees goes into his notes.

Because at the end of the first week, Steve leaves the room with an absent, “Be good”. It’s clearly something he’s used to from the old days, an offhand order to his submissive, and he doesn’t seem aware that he’s said it. But Phil catches it - naturally - and watches closely, wondering if just maybe…

By the end of the evening, when the lights go down in the cell and Phil turns away from the window, he’s almost positive. Bucky’s behaviour has been nearly impeccable by comparison to his usual behaviour. He hasn’t tried to attack or even growled at the agent delivering his evening meal, and he’s stayed quiet and well-behaved all evening, sitting on his bunk. He’s been the closest to calm that Phil’s seen, and Phil goes away turning that over in his mind. He doesn't mention it - not yet, not while there’s a lack of solid evidence - but he doesn’t forget it either.

He just needs to find a way to test it.

***

It takes another few days, but the chances arises.

“I know full well that that was his programming,” Steve says as they watch the bleeding medic stumble out of the room. “But I feel like I should apologize for my boy’s bad behaviour anyway.”

“I hear you,” Clint says. “Sometimes when I hear Phil give an agent a well deserve dressing down, I’m halfway to telling him to mind his manners before I remember where we are.”

Phil rolls his eyes and continues watching Bucky pace around the room. He’s particularly agitated today, unsettled and vicious (hence the bleeding medic), and Phil muses on that for a bit. “Steve?" he says, an idea beginning to form.

“Yeah?”

“I want you to do something for me. It's a theory, and it may not work, but I need to see what happens.”

“Sure,” Steve says easily. “Anything's worth a go, right?”

Phil smiles a little. "I hope so. Can you go in there and tell him off?”

Steve frowns. “I thought I wasn’t engaging with the Soldier?”

“You’re not. You said you felt like that was your boy’s bad behaviour - tell him off for it. Treat it like it was James. Unless he reacts particularly badly to reprimands?”

“No, he was well used to them. A little too used to them, in fact.” Steve sighs, then nods. “I see what you’re trying to do, but do you think it’ll work?”

“I don’t think anything just yet.”

Steve looks at Clint, who shrugs. “I trust Phil, both as a good agent and a good sub, and I think he’s thinking as both right now. Worth a try.”

Steve nods again and turns away, taking a deep breath. “Right,” he says, then opens the door and steps into the room. “Hey,” he snaps, and Phil jumps, before remembering that it’s not him who’s in trouble.

Bucky looks up. “What?” he snarls.

“Cut the attitude,” Steve says, raising his voice. “I saw what you did there, and you know damn well that you’re in trouble right now. For gods sake, Bucky, I thought you were a good boy - you don’t attack people. That’s basic good behaviour, and you have not been behaving at _all_ lately, have you? Now, I want you to go and sit in the corner and think about what you’ve done. I’ll be watching.”

Steve backs out and shuts the door. “Good,” Phil says, trying not to inch away from Steve. “Let’s see what happens.”

Steve frowns at him. “You look a bit wide around the eyes, Phil. Everything okay?”

Clint swears under his breath and moves closer to Phil. “Phil doesn’t much like yelling,” he says, putting an arm around him. “You okay, sweetheart?”

“Fine,” Phil says, and he knows he’s blushing. “Stupid gut reaction, doesn’t matter.” He looks up at the window, then raises an eyebrow and points. “That’s what matters.”

The other two turn to look, and Steve takes a step closer. “Oh shit,” he whispers. “He listened.”

Phil nods. “He did,” he says, watching as Bucky finishes settling himself in the corner, hands clasped behind his back and head bowed. “Your sub heard you, Steve.”

“So who’s in control?” Clint asks.

“I don’t know,” Phil says. “The submissive instincts are guiding James right now, but it doesn’t mean he’s in control. But the Soldier is a Dom, so if the submissive instincts are winning, then logically James must be closer to the surface. It’s man against machine, but it’s also definitely sub against Dom. So maybe instead of just trying to appeal to Bucky, Steve needs to appeal to his submissive.”

Clint’s nodding. “Go to the primal instinct,” he says. “Phil, this isn't the first time he's acted this way, is it?”

Phil shakes his head, and tells them the few instances he’s seen, ending with Steve’s casual order for Bucky to behave. Steve smiles when he hears that, albeit sadly. “He really is a good boy,” he says quietly. “And he’s trying so hard to be, I know he is. We’re going to have a lot of guilt to work through when he’s back in control.”

Hearing Steve talk about the future with such certainty is positive. Clint seems to agree. “One step at a time,” he says. “So we know he responds to orders and reprimands. How about more positive reinforcement - gifts, maybe? If he’s hoarding… Phil, what do you think would work?”

Phil considers it. “Well, there’s definitely guilt there. I mentioned the other week that the reason he might have been on the run was because he wasn’t feeling worthy of being Steve’s. I know that when I feel like I’ve been bad or worried that I’m not good enough, there’s one thing I always have with me that reassures me.”

Clint touches a hand to Phil’s collar. “Of course,” he says softly. “He had a collar, back in the day?”

“Yeah. Long gone now.”

“Get him another. Go to your boy, hand him a collar, and see what he does.”

Whether or not Clint meant right now, Steve takes it that way, turning on his heel and leaving without another word. Phil watches him go, then turns back to look at Bucky, who’s gone completely still and quiet. “He’s calm,” Phil murmurs.

“He knows he’s safe,” Clint says. “He’s been told what to do and why to do it, by someone he knows to trust, and it’s given him a purpose. And I suspect James is rather familiar with the corner.”

Phil smiles. “Yeah, I got that impression. I sure wouldn’t be that calm if you put me in the corner.”

“No, you’d probably cry, and then I’d feel horrible, and it’d do nobody any good. But Steve knows how James needs to atone for his mistakes, and James clearly knows that Steve still loves him even if he’s putting him in the corner.”

“I’d know you still loved me if you put me in the corner,” Phil says, because it needs saying.

“I know, sweetheart. But I know you well enough to know that there are better ways of dealing with misbehaviour for you - and your misbehaviour isn’t exactly on the level of attacking people.”

“Touche.” Phil sighs and leans into Clint. “You think the collar will work?”

“Depends on what you mean by work. I think there’ll be a response, absolutely, but I don’t know what. What happens next is really going to determine where we go from here.”

Phil nods, and waits quietly for Steve to return.

***

There’s absolutely a response, all right.

“Okay,” Steve says after a solid minute of silence, turning away from the window. He looks a little unkempt - but he has just escaped a wild, vicious machine out for his blood in the other room. “Thoughts?”

“Well,” Clint murmurs, clearly trying to be tactful, “that was certainly passionate.”

Steve rolls his eyes, but there’s not much heart in it. “Phil?”

“When you first held out the collar,” Phil says slowly, “there was a… I guess, a fight? His knees nearly went out - he wanted to take it. But it just wasn’t strong enough to get past the fight the Soldier put up when it realised it was losing control, and that’s why he lashed out so violently. There was definitely a reaction from the submissive, and a strong one, but it just wasn’t quite…  there. But he has kept the collar.”

Steve nods. “I’m interested in seeing what he does with it. And I’m wondering if perhaps the collar isn’t working because it’s wrong. It’s not his.” He turns to look at Phil, frowning a little. “I know you haven’t had your collar for all that long, but how would you feel if it were taken from you and then Clint tried to give you a cheap, non-customized one with no apology or explanation?”

“Price doesn’t matter,” Phil says, just to get that out of the way first. “But the meaning behind it definitely does - and understanding where he’s coming from. My collar isn’t custom made for me, but it is custom and it’s my collar now. To lose that would be to lose a symbol of the relationship; to have it replaced by something that lacks any thought would make me feel that I’m not worth the consideration. I don’t expect a lot of money to be spent on me, but I do expect that the things that are given to me are representative of how Clint feels about me.”

“Good information for me for the future,” Clint says with a smile, “but especially good for now. If it’s about that initial reaction, about getting him in control before the Soldier has time to react - could you try faking it?”

“How so?” Steve asks.

“Get a replica. Try giving him the collar he remembers.”

Steve slowly nods. “You think that moment when he first sees it might be enough?”

“It’s the strongest avenue I can see,” Phil says. “There’s a strong connection to the collar - if he needs a jolt to scramble the brainwaves enough to push him into control, that might work.”

He makes sure to emphasise his uncertainty, and Steve smiles. “I know,” he says. “We’re all winging it - but what else can we do, apart from give up? And I can tell you, that’s not happening.”

“We know,” Clint says quietly. “We’re in this too. Let’s go get dinner, and we can talk shop about collars. The sooner we can get a replica, the better.”

As the two fall into conversation, Phil lingers to take one last look at Bucky. Furious, raw anger, only barely masks the confusion as Bucky stares down at the collar in his hands. Despite the violent outburst, he hasn’t once put the collar down since receiving it, nor taken his eyes off it.

Phil sighs and turns away. There has to be a solution somewhere, and he joins in the conversation with renewed vigour. They’ve only just started this fight, and they’re not giving up.

***

As they enter the third week, Phil does have to occasionally return to work. He still spends as much time as possible in the observation room, but his agents need him, as does his paperwork. He manages to work half days, giving mornings to SHIELD and afternoons to Bucky, but even when he’s in the middle of sparring, his mind is still mostly back at the window, watching. Phil trusts Clint and Steve, knows they’re both good Doms and excellent observers, but he also feels like there needs to be a pair of submissive eyes to catch all the details when things go bad. He can only hope that mornings stay calm and he doesn’t miss anything important.

Of course that doesn't happen.

Phil enters the observation room after a couple of days back on mornings, to see Steve looking even more morose than usual and Clint with an arm around him. Phil slips in on the other side of Steve, who gives him a small grateful smile. "Not been a good day?" Phil asks.

"Not really. The replica came.”

Phil tries not to sigh. He really had thought this one was going to work. “Didn’t react well?”

"He sounded really panicked this time," Clint adds. "But we’ve been talking about it, and we're pretty sure he can tell it’s fake. The way he’s looking at it, feeling it, like it isn’t right. And it isn’t.”

"Well, that makes sense," Phil says, fingers instinctively brushing against his own collar. "I'd know too, and I'd be wary of someone trying to give me a collar I know wasn't mine." He winces a little at that and glances at Steve. "Sorry. I should have mentioned that."

"It's okay, Phil. I had to try whatever I could anyway - I'd hoped the replica might prove that I was the one who made his original, but clearly not."

"At least he hasn't destroyed it," Phil says. "He's torn up everything else that doesn't mean something, but he's hoarding the collars. The submissive in him wants to win out."

"I just wish I had the original," Steve says with a sigh. "He was wearing it when he fell, and when the Winter Soldier turned up it was gone... Phil?"

Phil's stepped closer to the window, and is staring into the room at Bucky. More importantly, at the collar Bucky's holding, turning over in his hands angrily. "That's the replica?" he asks.

"Yeah. Why?"

Phil blinks a few times, then slowly turns back. "I think I know where the original is."

***

Phil insists on having this conversation in his and Clint's room, Steve waiting in the observation room. He tells Steve it's because he wants to get his thoughts in order - really it's because he's too embarrassed to say this to Steve's face.

He can't even say it to Clint's.

"Okay," Phil murmurs, leaning against Clint's leg, eyes down. "You know I was a huge Captain America fanboy back in the day?" There's a pause, and Phil sighs. "You're gonna laugh all conversation aren't you?"

"Of course not, sweetheart," Clint says innocently, but Phil can hear the smile in his voice. "Yes, I know about your... interest. We do have all his trading cards in our room, after all."

"You're not making this easy." Phil sighs again and resolves to power through. "So when I was younger, I read a lot of the comics and watched the biopics and read everything there was to know about Captain America. And I read about James Barnes as his last known submissive. There's a video of them together, just laughing and looking so happy and... and James wearing his collar. And - okay, you can't laugh, Clint, not at this. Please don't."

"I won't," Clint says, stroking his hair. "Tell me."

"Well you know the Smithsonian has been collecting his things for years and I - well. Of course I went there and looked at the collection and there's a whole area now on Steve as a Dom. Because you know back then there was the stigma about small male Doms and how he fought against that and I bet a lot of that's made up but that's not the point. The point is... they have a replica of the collar at the Smithsonian, and it's been there for way longer than the whole Cap exhibit. And I went and saw the collar and... that collar, Clint. I know it so well. It was in photos, in books, and then the replica the Smithsonian had and I - I looked at it a lot. Because I -" Phil takes a deep breath, and spills the last of the words in a rush. "I imagined what it would be like to wear it and be Captain America's."

Clint doesn't laugh. "I'm sure you weren't the only one, sweet boy," he says softly. "No need to feel embarrassed. But how is this going to help us find the collar?"

Phil gets to the point. "I think the one they have in the Smithsonian is real," he says, and Clint's hand stills. "I remember thinking that the first time I saw it - that whoever did the replica did a really good job. It looks worn and faded and used and exactly like the one in the photos. And I never got to see the back, but I'll bet you anything that Steve's signature is on it. He put his signature on everything he made.”

"We need to get it and find out," Clint says. "Well done, Phil."

"Haven't done anything."

"You admitted things that I know weren't easy." Phil glances up and Clint smiles. "Ready to tell Steve?"

"Can you tell him for me?"

"If that's what you'd prefer, but can I ask why?"

Phil ducks his head. "Don't want to make an idiot of myself. I've fucked up before and looked like a moron or just a stupid fanboy and I respect Steve as a good friend and colleague and the last thing I want is to remind him of how stupid I was or make him think I'm not professional -"

Clint cups Phil's face between his hands and kisses him firmly. After a moment Phil whines quietly and relaxes, tension melting out of him. "There we go," Clint says as he breaks away, resting his hands on Phil's shoulders. "Now; Steve would never think badly of you, sweet boy. In fact, I think he'd understand far more if he knew it was a submissive thing as well - but I won't tell him," he adds quickly. "I'll just tell him about the collar and leave it there."

"Thanks," Phil murmurs. "When we've told him, can you kiss me like that some more?"

Clint smiles. "Just enough to put you in that nice calm headspace you love so much?" Phil nods, maybe a little too eagerly, and Clint chuckles softly. "I sure can, beautiful. I'm sorry I haven't been able to take you to subspace completely in awhile."

"It's okay. Priorities."

"You're one of them. But I know what you mean. Once this is over - and I hope the collar will make that sooner than later, I'm going to take you home and send you sky high.”

Phil rises to his feet before he decides to melt into a puddle at Clint’s feet. “Work first,” he says and Clint nods, standing with him. “Even if that is actually the collar, we still have to figure out how to get it back. I imagine they won’t want to be letting go of part of their exhibit that easily, especially if they learn that it’s real.”

“One thing at a time,” Clint says, taking his hand. “Let’s go and tell Steve.”

Telling Steve is equal parts embarrassing and gratifying. Clint does have to explain a little about where Phil's logic has come from, but the light in Steve’s eyes once he has is worth it. “They’ve got so many things there that it seems like they shouldn’t have possibly been able to get,” Steve says. “Stuff that people were wearing when they fell. To have Bucky’s collar wouldn’t be a surprise - though they’ve never advertised that they have the original.”

“They probably wouldn’t know,” Clint points out. “A lot of stuff in there isn’t authenticated, right?”

Steve nods. “There’s only one way to know, though,” he says. “I’d know that collar anywhere. I need to go and check it out.”

Clint shakes his head. “I don’t think you’re going to get away with that. Even if you went in incognito, you’d still have to try and get access to the collar and then convince them to let you take it, and you’d have to reveal who you are to do that. If you went down there and asked for your former submissives collar back, it would become public news in an hour."

Phil nods. "Clint's right. There's only one of us who can really fly under the radar anymore.” He straightens his tie and puts on his best bland agent expression. “Official SHIELD business should get me a private meeting, and my powers of persuasion and subtle threats will hopefully result in secrecy, if nothing else.”

Clint smiles at him. “God you’re cute,” he says.

Phil sighs. Cute isn't the word he likes hearing when he’s acting as an agent, but Clint refuses to change his mind, and Phil really can’t find it in himself to care too much.

Steve rolls his eyes at them, then turns serious again. “The signature on the inside is the biggest tell,” he says. “Other replicas copied my Cap signature, but this one was before then.” He grabs a piece of paper and scribbles down the rarer of his signatures - that of Steve Rogers. “You find a collar that looks well-worn and well-loved with that badly engraved on the back of it, and you’ve found the right collar.

Phil takes the page, then bites his lip. “While you’re signing things,” he says tentatively, “there is one other thing I wanted to ask of you…”

***

Two hours later Phil’s walking through the main doors of the Smithsonian and heading towards the Captain America exhibit. He resists the urge to visit the Avengers exhibit next door (he’s not yet been able to convince Clint to come and visit, but the photos of his Dom in battle are really quite stunning), and heads for the nearest docent once he’s in the room. A quiet word to them, a flash of his badge, and he’s hurried away into an office and asked politely to wait.

The Captain America curator enters a few minutes later - a kind, elderly man who Phil takes a liking to immediately. “Agent Coulson,” he says, shaking his hand and sitting down at the desk. “I hear SHIELD has a favour to ask?”

“We do,” Phil says. “There is an item in your exhibit that I need to view personally. The collar of Captain America’s confirmed former submissive.”

The barest flicker of a raised eyebrow is all he gets, then the curator presses a button on his desk and murmurs the request. “It will be here in a moment,” he says. “If I may ask… this is no issue of national security, is it? It’s far more personal.”

Phil nods slightly. “Captain America sent me,” he says, and says nothing else until the collar arrives.

Once it does, enclosed in a locked suitcase, the curator pulls out a key, then pauses. “Interesting that you come for this, of all items,” he says. “We have never tried to claim that we own the original collar, and I believe many here think that this is a good replica. But I have always had my doubts. I know a well-loved collar when I see it.”

Phil looks at the soft leather band around the man’s neck, and smiles. “As do I,” he says, loosening his tie and allowing his own collar to become visible for a moment. A nod of understanding passes between the two, and the curator unlocks the suitcase as Phil straightens up his tie again. “May I?” he asks as the curator lifts the collar out of the case.

“Of course.”

He’s handed the collar, and Phil takes it with care. He turns over, then sighs in relief as he takes in the engraved signature. It's wobbly, indicative of self-engraving without high quality tools, and a dead ringer for the piece of paper with Steve’s signature. "You're right," he says. "It's an original. In fact, it's the custom collar designed for James Barnes."

"I knew it," the curator murmurs reverently. "How wonderful to have it confirmed."

Phil hates to do this, but it has to happen. "Captain America has reasons to wish for the collar to return to his possession," Phil says lightly, and the man's face falls. "I understand that this is a blow for you, I know it makes the collection complete. So I have something to offer as a replacement. Two things, actually - there's a well-made replica that I can have sent over in a few days to fill the space. It's convincing, I assure you. And as you never advertised having the original, you won’t be misleading anybody.”

"That would help."

"But you'd like something real," Phil says with a nod, and opens his briefcase. "I presume you're familiar with the trading card series?"

"Of course. We've been trying to get our hands on the rarest ones for awhile, but most of the collectors won't budge."

Phil smiles. "I know. I've been contacted many times myself." He removes a case and slides it over. "In there you'll find a complete set," he says. "All rare cards included, all verified. And the rarest of all is signed by Captain America himself. Having watched him sign it this afternoon, I can confirm authenticity.”

There's a long silence while the curator opens the case and stares down at the cards. Then, to Phil's relief, he smiles. "You have yourself a deal, Agent," he says. "Shall I presume complete discretion is required?"

"Yes, thank you. Otherwise Captain America would have come himself to collect it. But you can be assured I'm passing on his personal thanks."

"Tell him he's welcome... and I hope that collar makes his special someone very happy."

Phil thinks of Bucky, pacing in his containment cell, and nods. "I hope so too."

***

Clint and Steve are waiting in the observation room when Phil arrives back at headquarters three hours later. When Phil reveals the collar, Steve's face lights up and he hugs Phil hard. "I can never repay you for this," he says.

"You don't need to." Phil watches Steve look the collar over, then glances at Bucky, pacing angrily. "Why don't you spend some time polishing it up?" he suggests. "Today might be a bad day to try it out."

Steve glances at the window too, then sighs. "Yeah. I'll go do that."

He leaves, still staring at the collar, and Clint immediately draws Phil into his arms. "You are wonderful, sweetheart," he says, and Phil melts a little under the words. "How much did it cost you?"

"The whole collection."

Clint pulls away enough to look him in the eyes. "You gave it all up?"

"Of course I did."

"Such a good boy," Clint murmurs. "I think a reward is in order."

"I don't need rewards for doing the right, decent thing," Phil says, then glances down a little. "But I do like them."

"You'll get one."

The door opens, and they quickly separate as they turn to see Fury coming towards them. He glances in at Bucky, then looks at Phil. "I hear you made a transaction at the Smithsonian?"

"We hope it might be the push he needs," Phil says.

"I also hear it was a personal transaction." Phil doesn't answer. "SHIELD have resources, you know? You didn't have to give up something that important to you."

"It needed to be personal. It was replacing something personal."

Fury looks at them both for a moment. "What's your angle?" he asks. "I get that you're doing your job, and that Rogers is a good friend to you both, but you haven't been home in weeks - except to collect the cards. Why've you put so much of yourselves into this one?"

Phil shrugs. "The high ranking submissive, known to others by a different projection, struggling to cope with both identities?"

Clint nods. "The soldier, manufactured and mind controlled, trying to break free and come to terms with what he's done?"

"Yeah," Phil murmurs. "We couldn't give up on him, and not just for Steve."

Fury nods. “And if this doesn’t work?” he asks. “What then?”

“What else?” Phil asks in return. “We keep trying. There’s a human in there, and he wants to be free.”

“I’ll be here at ten tomorrow,” Fury says, turning away. “Tell Rogers to do the offering then.”

Once he’s gone, Clint takes Phil’s hand. “Come on,” he says. “You can consider yourself off-duty until tomorrow. I have a few promises to keep.”

Phil doesn’t even think about arguing.

***

At nine-thirty in the morning, ten seems like forever away.

Steve’s pacing, collar in hand, watching Bucky intently. Phil - not missing this for anything - is working through his emails, one eye on Steve as he does. Clint’s watching everybody, perfectly still and holding himself in a way Phil’s familiar with. He’s battle ready.

Phil really hopes this doesn’t end up in a battle.

At five to, Fury enters. He nods to everybody, takes up position in front of the window, and glances at Steve. “Go on then,” he says.

Steve doesn’t need telling twice, and he’s in the room before Clint and Phil have made it over to the window. He’s got his hands behind his back, and waits calmly for Bucky to look up. “What?” he asks - but it’s not a snarl or a growl, which in itself is promising.

“Hi, Bucky,” Steve says, taking a couple of steps forward. Bucky slowly rises, tension in his shoulders, and Steve stops. “I’ve brought you something,” he continues, and brings his hands out from behind his back.

When Bucky sees the collar, he freezes. Steve doesn't go any closer, just holds it out and waits.

In the observation room, nobody moves. Phil’s holding his breath.

Slowly, head bowed, Bucky sinks to his knees. "Steve," he whispers.

"Bucky," Steve says, and this time Bucky doesn't back away. "Do you remember it?"

"My collar,” Bucky says - and they’re the first words _he’s_ said since the day he arrived. “I - I'm yours."

Steve takes a careful step forwards, close enough that he could touch Bucky if he chose. He doesn't - but Bucky does, leaning against Steve's leg with a soft sigh that’s so _human_ it hurts. "Yeah," Steve whispers. "You are."

He gently threads a hand in Bucky's hair, petting it softly as Bucky begins to cry. After a moment, Steve does too.

Phil turns away and, uncaring about Fury, holds his arms out to Clint, who's there in a second to hold him tight. "So that's James," Phil murmurs.

"Yeah," Clint murmurs back, sounding just as overwhelmed. "There's still going to be a lot of work, but - but there he is."

Phil just nods. They’re not even close to out of the woods yet - just because Bucky’s in control now doesn’t mean it’s permanent, or that the Soldier no longer poses a threat. Nothing is at all certain

Well. Maybe one thing is certain - Steve’s never giving up now. His hope has been rewarded, and he won’t stop until he’s got Bucky back, safe and sound and whole. And looking at the two of them now, Phil finally, fully, believes that might be possible.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter: Bucky's back, but he's not set for an easy life just yet.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Most of the people I’ve met were like that,” Bucky says quietly. “All Doms on high guard against me, treating me like I’m a threat… or like I need to be protected. Even though I just fucked up a whole lot of lives and shit, they think I’m the weak one, because I’m a sub.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for the delay. Work has been hectic, leaving me little time to write a chapter that seriously did not want to be written.

Nobody wastes any time. As soon as Bucky gives his consent, SHIELD medics are swarming him, running scans and asking questions. There’s a moment when they’re clearly all crowding in too tight; Bucky growls and everybody freezes, but Steve just lightly swats his shoulder and tells him to be good. Bucky settles, still at Steve’s feet, and they can all relax again. If Steve knows him well enough to tell who’s in control, they’ll trust him.

Bruce and Tony show up after the SHIELD team are done, and Clint goes in with them to watch their backs. Steve introduces them all, and spends the time while Tony and Bruce work explaining to Bucky about the Avengers. Bucky doesn’t ask any questions - in fact, he hasn’t said anything since the others have entered - but he’s listening and watching, taking in everything around him. Phil watches from behind the glass, taking notes.

With all the scans done, the two groups congregate in the lab to compare findings. Steve and Bucky are locked in with surveillance, since Steve flat refuses to leave Bucky and Bucky shows no signs of letting go of Steve now that he’s got him. With everybody busy and attended to, Clint takes Phil home for a well deserved night off (and an even better deserved reward).

They get the call at five the next morning: the medical, technical, and biological teams, along with Tony and Bruce, have discovered how to switch the Soldier off. Phil needs them to repeat that, since he doesn’t quite believe they’ve worked it out this quickly, but stops them when they start explaining how - he’s never going to understand Tony’s technology. All that matters is that they’re going to give it a go in half an hour, and the entire Avengers team is required on site in case the Soldier goes for one last fight - they won’t be informing Bucky beforehand to try and avoid that exact scenario, but they can never be entirely sure. So they’re scrambling, assembling the rest of the team, and getting back to SHIELD.

It all happens very fast - Phil’s still blinking sleep out of his eyes when they knock Bucky out and set to work. All six Avengers are on guard around the medical team, and a row of SHIELD agents circle behind them, everybody keeping a close eye on proceedings. Phil, along with several other high level agents, are watching from another room.

Fury arrives ten minutes into the procedure, hands Phil a coffee, and watches alongside him. Phil glances at him, then sighs. “So, if this works, what now?”

“What kind of what now?”

“Tribunal? NYPD? City of New York vs. James Barnes?”

“Not if I can help it.” Fury shrugs and sips his coffee. “We keep him here until we’re satisfied, and then we proactively tell people that he’s here because if we don’t it’ll look like we’ve lied. We remind people that HYDRA fucked with a lot of good minds, and we remind the city of New fucking York that Captain Rogers will probably stop trying to save their asses if they tell him his sub is going to prison.”

Phil nods. It’s about what he’s expected. “And where's he going to go?”

“Where do you think?”

Phil looks into the room, sees Steve holding Bucky’s hand, and nods again. He’s not surprised by that either.

The procedure takes half an hour, and Bucky’s immediately defensive and wary when he wakes up surrounded by people. Steve shooes them all away, squeezes Bucky’s shoulders, and waits.

“Wait,” Bucky says after a minute. “Did you… switch him off?”

“Better than _that_ ,” Tony says, bouncing on the balls of his feet, and holds up a flash drive. “He’s on this.”

Bucky blinks at him, then begins to laugh. It quickly turns into tears, and everybody quietly retreats, giving Steve room to comfort his sub in peace.

***

Once a week has gone by after the procedure with no after effects, Bucky’s released from containment. And as soon as he’s released, he goes into hiding.

Thankfully, that hiding takes place in Steve’s rooms in the tower, under the careful watch of JARVIS - linked to SHIELD security footage - and Steve himself. Bucky is still a risk, but with an entire building of Avengers ready to mobilise the second anything goes wrong, Fury’s prepared to take it. If anything’s going to help Bucky solidify control of his mind, it’s being in a safe place with someone he knows and loves.

Apart from a brief sighting on the day Bucky arrives, nobody sees him for days. Steve is seen rarely - usually getting food, or having quick talks with Natasha or Clint. Clint’s told Phil some of the things Steve’s shared with him - the nightmares, panic attacks, and very obvious fear of being in trouble. A lot of what Bucky’s dealing with is just the aftermath of his situation and coming to terms with what actions he’s caused without his consent (Clint explains this one very quietly and with distant eyes, prompting Phil to hug him for a long time). But some of it is clear trust issues, as well as readjustment back into being a submissive after being seen very differently for so long. Phil can relate, and wishes there was a way he could help.

As it turns out, there might be - as Steve’s explaining, anyway, heading up in the lift with Clint and Phil, arms loaded down with snacks. “I think part of him is afraid to come out and be surrounded by Doms,” he says. “He’s been through a lot and one of the ways he’s coping is by being very…”

“Subby?” Phil asks with a smile. “No surprise there.”

Steve smiles too. “Yeah. I’ve told him there’s another sub here, but he’s still wary. His trust is shot to hell, and it’s hard enough to convince him that nobody here wants to execute him for what happened, let alone make him believe that nobody’s going to treat him badly for being a sub. He’s now convinced that the brainwashing wouldn’t have worked if he weren’t so submissive.”

Clint raises an eyebrow and points to himself. “Level eleven Dominant and I went right the hell under when I got mind controlled. It’s got nothing to do with it.”

Steve nods. “You’re the next on the list of people to meet for that exact reason. If he reacts well to Phil, I might ask you to come ‘pick him up’ later.”

“No problem.” The lift stops at Steve’s floor, and Clint kisses Phil goodbye. “Be good,” he says.

“I always am,” Phil says innocently, smirking a little at Clint’s laugh.

Steve’s smiling as they head towards his door. “On good days, Bucky’s just like that… which means when he’s back on top form, he’s going to be ten times worse.”

“An absolute brat, you mean?”

“ _Such_ a brat,” Steve says with feeling, keying them into the room, “and I shouldn’t love it so much.” He opens the door, gestures for Phil to wait, and steps in, looking around. “Bucky? It’s me.”

“Living room,” Bucky calls back.

Steve heads that way, Phil following a few steps behind. “There’s someone with me,” Steve says before he enters. “I don't think you’ve met Phil?”

Bucky’s already clearly tense when Phil enters, but his back stiffens even more when he sees Phil. “He’s an agent,” he says, and damn he’s good - Phil’s not even wearing one of his distinctive suits and Bucky picked it immediately.

Phil nods, keeping himself very open and non-combative. “I am. I’m the Avengers Liaison, and a Level Seven SHIELD agent.”

“Come to check up on me?”

“Not at all,” Phil says calmly. “I’m here at Steve’s invitation - I was just on my way to my floor and he asked me to stop in.”

Bucky settles a little. “You live here?”

“Phil’s one of the team,” Steve explains. “He doesn’t fight beside us, but he’s always in battle right there with us. He keeps everybody safe and doing what they need to, and then deals with the tremendous amounts of paperwork and damage control afterwards.”

“You always did need damage control, Stevie,” Bucky mutters. “So, no offence and all, but why are you visiting me?”

“Steve thought we might get along,” Phil says, and removes his scarf.

Bucky stares. “Well, I didn’t pick that one at all,” he says eventually. “You’re so neutral.”

Phil smiles. “I do my best - at least when I’m not at home. Navigating SHIELD politics is hard enough without the ‘disadvantage’ of being a submissive.”

His deliberately exaggerated air quotes draw a hint of a smile from Bucky, who still looks a bit taken aback. “When Steve said there was a sub in the building, I thought it was a sub of one of the Avengers. Didn’t expect… this.”

“I do actually belong to one of the team,” Phil admits, “but I was here before that. I earned the right to live here on my own terms long before I had the honor of being collared by my Dom - and before you ask, I was collared out of love, not because one of them thought he had the right to claim me since I lived here.”

He’s hitting all the right notes that Bucky clearly needs to hear, and some of the wideness in his eyes is disappearing. There’s still too much of a haunted gaze for Phil’s liking, but Phil knows most of that will take time and support, and a whole lot of therapy. For now, he’s just going to focus on what he can do to help.

“Who?” Bucky asks.

“Clint. Remember him?”

“Robin Hood?”

Phil laughs. “Oh, I can’t wait to share that one. He’ll sulk.”

Bucky visibly retreats. “Don’t. I don’t want you to get in trouble.”

Phil shakes his head. “Clint wouldn’t. Everybody’s entitled to an opinion and a sense of humour - heaven knows he’s heard worse than that from me and he’s never punished me for it.” Bucky looks mollified, but Phil has to push. “Though I can see where the concern comes from - I guess you did meet the Avengers at their… Dommiest.”

“Most of the people I’ve met were like that,” Bucky says quietly. “All Doms on high guard against me, treating me like I’m a threat… or like I need to be protected. Even though I just fucked up a whole lot of lives and shit, they think I’m the weak one, because I’m a sub.”

“SHIELD politics can be a difficult area to adjust to at first,” Phil says as tactfully as possible, “but I can promise that the people in this tower are nothing like that. I could go into the field and take out a room full of people, then come home and decide to hang out at Clint’s feet under an order of silence, and they’re going to treat me how I want to be treated without batting an eyelid. And that’s not hypothetical - that was two days ago.”

Bucky glances at Steve, who nods. “I know there’s a lot going on,” he says softly, “but I hope this can take away one of your fears. You be how and who you want to be, and they’ll treat you as that person until you decide otherwise.”

The tiny flicker of bitterness in Bucky’s eyes as he looks away is jotted down as a mental note for Phil to try and get to later. For now he just looks at Bucky, then Steve, then takes a calculated risk. “Steve says you’re feeling like it was being a sub that allowed the Soldier in?”

“Weak mind and all that, right?” Bucky shrugs. “And I guess someone was coming in and taking control, telling me what to do and making everything happen. By the time I figured out I didn’t want them, it was too late. But they still got in because of that.”

“They got in because they had the technology to get in,” Phil says. “That’s it. One of my agents -“ he’ll let Clint decide how much he wants to share on that front, “- was mind controlled a few years ago, and he was a high ranking Dominant. It was shockingly easy to gain control of his mind. Rank has nothing to do with it - all brains are equally controllable.”

Bucky sighs. “I know I should find that comforting, but I’m still…”

“You don’t need to feel anything you’re not ready to feel,” Phil tells him. “For now, just focus on the things you can work with - like the people in the tower. You’re worried about them treating you weird, or feeling uncomfortable around them?”

Bucky shrugs. “I guess.”

Phil looks at Steve, who nods. “Clint probably wants to pick his sub up,” Steve says. “Mind if he comes and says hi?”

Another shrug. “Sure.”

Phil uses JARVIS to send a message to Clint, and they wait a few moments for the reply. _“Agent Barton is en route,”_ JARVIS says, _“but he wishes to warn that he has just finished training, and is still on an adrenaline rush.”_

Phil tries not to laugh. “Thanks, JARVIS,” he says. “I’m sure he’ll be fine.”

“Why would he need to warn us about that?” Bucky asks.

“Clint’s an eleven,” Phil says. “But when he’s been working out or just come out of battle, he easily seems like a five or six. I suspect the warning was just as much for me as it was for you.”

Bucky smiles, and it really is such a nice smile. Phil hopes to see a lot more of it. “The first time I saw Steve after the serum, he’d just finished a training session and he was full of adrenaline, and I hit the floor before I knew what I was doing.”

“I nearly did that the first time I handled Clint and he came back to the safe house after a successful op,” Phil confesses. “To this day, he has no idea how hard it was for me to keep it together.” Steve just grins and nods at the door, and Phil groans. “And now he does.”

“You’re not the only one,” Clint says as he drapes his arms around Phil from behind. “The first time I saw you take out a room of people without getting a single inch of damage to your suit, I wanted to do all sorts of things to you - and don’t get me started on how stupidly emotional I got the first time you went to your knees for me.” He kisses Phil’s cheek, then straightens up and takes Phil’s hand instead. “Hi all,” he says to the others. “Sorry about that, but Phil’s adorable.”

“My senses scream Alpha,” Bucky murmurs, “but that was just…”

“Way too sweet?” Phil completes, delighted to get his revenge. “Yeah; Clint plays it tough out there, but he’s a huge softie.”

“Like you’re complaining,” Clint says cheerfully. “Good to meet you again, James. Sorry about having you at arrow-point last time.”

Phil grins. “He called you Robin Hood.”

Bucky tenses, but Clint just laughs. “Better than Hunger Games references - something you’re probably not up with yet, and I really recommend never catching up. There’s some great things about modern society, but also some really crap movies. And not the good kind of crap either.”

Bucky’s watching them closely, clearly working through something in his mind, and Steve nods Clint over. “Few questions for you about that training class I’m taking next week,” he says, and draws Clint over to the other side of the room.

Bucky snorts. “Not even close to subtle.”

“Absolutely not,” Phil agrees, and pulls out a chair to sit down. “So - what’d you think of Clint?”

Bucky sits too and looks at him. “What’s your style?” he asks. It’s probably the first question to hand - Phil’s sure there are dozens in his mind right now.

“Obedient to a fault,” Phil says with a smile. “Praise-hungry. Life’s good when I’ve done right by Clint and he’s proud of me.”

“So just your classic good boy,” Bucky says. “Exactly the type of sub I thought Steve would go for back in the day, to be honest. And then he picked me.”

“And you’re the complete opposite?”

“I - well, I was.” Phil raises an eyebrow, and Bucky sighs. “Me and Steve, it’s always been a game. Of course we love the shit out of each other, no playing around there, but I loved being a brat and pushing the limits. Yeah, we’d have all the soft and sweet stuff, but there was a whole lot of being sent to the corner and punishments - fun punishments of course, the good stuff. But now… now I can’t stand him telling me off. He threatened to put me in the corner and I _cried_. All I want is to be - to fucking be _coddled_.”

Now they’re getting to the heart of it. “That’s okay, you know?” Phil says quietly. “Wanting your Dom to take care of you and show you that they love you isn’t a bad thing.”

“But what if Steve wants _me?_ The me he was used to back then? Feels like I’m so different now - I know I’m still me, but I need different shit now and Steve said that it’s okay for everybody else, that they’ll treat me however I like, but this is me being real different and Steve might not be cool with that.”

The bitterness makes sense now - as do a lot of things. Phil bites his lip, then nods. “Let me show you something,” he says. “Sidestepping the fact that Steve is clearly willing and happy to give you whatever you need, and is probably also benefiting quite a lot from being able to look after you, and I really doubt he’d lie to you if you asked… all of that aside, you’re not the first sub who’s needed to be someone very different to who their Dom has always known.” Phil closes his eyes for a moment, then rises to his feet and clears his throat. “Barton,” he says.

Clint’s head snaps up. “Sir?” he asks automatically, then stops and frowns.

Phil keeps his expression perfectly neutral. “I didn’t see your report on my desk from yesterday,” he says.

“Haven’t had time, boss.” Phil raises an eyebrow - because that’s just plain not true - and Clint sighs. “Yeah, I know. I’ll work on it tonight. Still don’t see why I have to put one in when you’ve got twenty,” he adds in a quiet mutter.

“Because your eyes are the best I’ve got, Barton, and you catch things that others don’t. Also because it’s protocol, and because I’m your boss and I say so.”

Clint snaps out a salute. “Yes, sir,” he says. “We done here?”

“Done,” Phil says with a nod, his tone falling back to soft and respectful.

“Okay, sweet boy. We’ll talk about that one later.”

Phil nods and sits back down. “Seven years,” he says in response to the unasked question. “That’s all he ever knew of me - calm, competent, and perfectly neutral. And then I became his. I’m still that person during the day, but once I’m off the clock I’m at his feet being - well, coddled. I don’t brat for fun, hate being punished, and want nothing more than to be given orders and be told how good I am when I obey. While I’m pretty sure you’ll settle into your skin once you’re feeling more confident, there’s nothing wrong with needing something a bit different if it does end up being permanent. It’s not like Steve hasn’t given you love and care in the past, after all.”

Bucky nods absently, but it’s clear he’s still processing the events of just before. “Rank?” he asks.

“Ninety-five.”

“Well, damn. That’s one hell of a facade you’ve got to put on.”

Phil shakes his head, because this is the important part. “That’s the thing. It isn’t a facade at all - it’s me. Both are me. When I’m at work, I’m neutral, because that’s how I’m comfortable being. But it’s still a part of me; there’s nothing fake about the authority I possess when I take charge of agents, or the competence I display. I know I’m a competent agent who is very good at being neutral on much more than just a status level - I’m neutral when it comes to being good or bad as well, and it works well. It’s what I’m good at and who I’m good at being and yes, parts of it are a bit more put on or not exactly who I’d be in my everyday life, but we all have that. I can still be a SHIELD agent, completely and truthfully, and then come home and be 100% Clint’s sub. Just because the two act differently and need different things doesn’t mean either one is less a part of me… just like your need to be looked after. Just because it doesn’t coincide with the brat Steve’s always been used to doesn’t mean it’s not a part of you.”

“The Soldier was a part of me,” Bucky mutters.

“Bullshit,” Phil says calmly. “The Soldier was implanted. He used you - he didn’t grow from you. You are who you are based on what you experience; and right now you’ve experienced some horrific things and you need a bit of comfort from your Dom. I’m an active agent, James, I know what that’s like. But it’s still you asking for the comfort. It’s what you want. And what you want is completely fine. You haven’t been able to have what you’ve wanted for a long time; don’t deprive yourself of it now.”

Bucky is very quiet for some time, taking all of that in. Then he nods, stands, and crosses the room to where Clint and Steve are sitting. He waits for them to break off their conversation, then kneels, resting his head on Steve’s knee and looking up at him. “Hey,” he says. “You love me, right?”

“With all my heart.”

“I can’t handle you putting me in the corner right now, but I’m still yours, right?”

“You don’t even need to ask that, baby,” Steve says, stroking his hair. “I want to give you what you want, and I like treating you like you’re precious, because you are. Doesn’t mean you’re fragile - I know better than that. If you’re happy, I’m happy.”

“I like this,” Bucky admits, blushing slightly. “Guess I’ve always liked it - maybe I should’ve told you that more back in the day - but I want it more now. Makes me feel safe.”

Steve swallows hard. “That’s good,” he says quietly. “That’s exactly how I want you to feel.

Bucky looks at Steve for a bit longer then, apparently satisfied by what he sees, settles in and closes his eyes. And Phil knows he’s probably still haunted by what plays out on the inside of his eyelids and in his dreams, but at least the set of his shoulders isn’t quite so tense. The small victories are always the foundation for the big ones, and it’s good to see at least one issue sorted.

Well. Sorted for Bucky anyway. Because when they get home, Clint goes straight to the kitchen table, pulls out his report, and starts working without a word to Phil. Phil hovers for a bit, watching, then sits down across from him tentatively. “Is this my punishment?” he asks.

“Whatever do you mean?” Clint asks, straight-faced. “I’m just doing what my boss ordered.”

Phil sighs. “Okay, point taken. I’m sorry I pulled rank.”

“You did it for a good reason, which is why I’m not actually cross - I’d tell you outright if this were actually a punishment, you know that. Consider this me just quietly reasserting my dominance.”

Phil nods. “Feel like I should ask for some reassurance of my own,” he murmurs, not really intending for Clint to hear.

Clint hears. “What about, sweet boy?” he asks.

It takes a few moments for Phil to get his words together, and to pull up the courage to say them. “I guess… just that I’m still good even when I’m being neutral. That you still love me and you’re still - still proud of me. Even when I’m not ‘being’ yours.”

Clint touches Phil’s hand. “Do we need to sit down and have a good long talk about rank issues and portraying neutral?” he asks gently. “Because I don’t mind if we do, but it’s something I never wanted to push unless it became a problem.”

Phil shrugs. “’s no secret I have rank issues,” he murmurs. “Anyone at my level does. Feels like you’re betraying yourself if you try to be independent; feels like you’re succumbing to the stereotypical inevitable if you don’t. There’s no victory - supposedly.”

Clint abandons his report and takes Phil to the couch. It’s comforting to curl up next to him, especially when Clint strokes his hair. “You seem pretty happy though,” Clint murmurs after a bit. “You switch between work and home so easily.”

“It is easy. It’s… shockingly easy. And I guess that’s where my issues are at the moment - the fact that I _don’t_ have issues.”

“The problematic _I should be suffering but I’m not, what's wrong with me_?”

Phil nods. “I should feel like I’m wearing a mask half my life, but I don’t. Like I told James, they’re both me - but they are very different. And I worry that it’s not okay to be - to be okay with being both. Like I should either be ashamed of being so subby or ashamed that I’m so good at being neutral. But I like both; they each have their place and I get to be who I’m comfortable being in different places and yes, I have rank issues and all that shit, but there’s some deeply internalized things you don’t ever really come to terms with, and others you can and should, and I have for that stuff.”

Clint kisses his forehead. “Good. It’s no secret that I have a slight competency kink.” Phil looks up to smirk, and Clint smiles fondly back at him. “I don’t ever expect you to be perfectly put together, sweet boy, but I’m glad you’ve got your life balanced. Just make sure you always ask for what you need - more time being in control, or more time being taken care of.”

“The latter right now,” Phil says, burrowing closer.

“Easy. As for these other internalised rank issues…”

“Best not to mention them,” Phil says darkly. “It’s always when you bring them up that they come to the surface - and believe me, if they get set off, it’s one giant fucking mess of insecurity and self-loathing for awhile.”

“What sets them off?”

“Incidents. Stupid comments getting under my skin, or Doms treating me how I don’t want to be treated because of my rank. Anything that makes me feel inferior, or boiled down to just a number.”

Clint hums. “So things out of my control, basically.”

“Also things that happen quite rarely,” Phil assures him. “It’s been quite some time since anything’s set me off, and hopefully will be quite a long time until it happens again… as long as we haven’t jinxed it.”

“Good point. Better kiss me for good luck.”

“Your logic is a little flawed,” Phil says, looking up again with a raised eyebrow. Clint shrugs, and Phil smiles. “I’ll let it slide.”

“Good,” Clint murmurs, and kisses him softly enough for Phil to entirely forget their conversation.

***

Days go by.

Progress is being made on the Bucky front, they know that much. Phil and Clint aren’t privy to the specific details - which is perfectly fair, seeing that they really wouldn’t like others being privy to their own personal details themselves - but they know there’s been some very bad days and some very, very good ones. It’s all about getting Bucky used to being in control of his mind and his actions, and of course dealing with the huge levels of post-traumatic stress. It’s going to be a long process, but every day seems to bring new results.

One of the conditions of Bucky’s house arrest is to see a SHIELD therapist, and Phil swings it so he gets one of the best - a neutral, simple and comforting, and someone he knows Bucky can’t help but talk to. She’s Phil’s own therapist, after all; and Clint’s, when he actually goes. Clint also spends time talking with Bucky about his own experiences, helping him work through the emotions that nobody else can understand. It hurts to think of Clint going through his own aftermath without anybody like this to talk to, but Phil’s glad Bucky has it - and can see the good it does for Clint as well.

Bucky starts taking visitors. Natasha first, who, as they find out later, gently asks Steve to leave for half an hour, and brings back a red-eyed Bucky who hugs Natasha for a long time before she leaves. Apparently they’ve sworn on their lives not to repeat any of the conversation shared, and nobody pushes it.

Tony and Bruce drop in together, explaining the procedure in further detail, as well as talking more openly about themselves. Steve is present for that one, and is happy to report that a tentative but genuine friendship seems to be striking up between Bruce and Bucky. Their common ground is a little less firm than that of Bucky and Clint, but the differences make it easier for them to talk.

Thor just fields questions from a very curious Bucky. It’s not the deepest of conversations, but the level of freedom Bucky shows in asking his questions is promising.

But while all the interactions seem to go well, they’re all just events. None of it is natural - none of it involves Bucky being a part of the team. They all know it’ll take time, and everybody is very patient and calm and kind, but the gap between him and them is very obvious. And right now, with things seemingly in limbo, it feels like everybody’s just holding their breath and waiting.

Phil knows that this step is pretty crucial. There’s a lot for Bucky to adjust to and deal with right now, but the biggest tell for someone dealing with their trauma is when they start not only letting people in, but accepting that they’re actually wanted. Bucky has taken the time to meet everybody and start getting to know them, but he hasn’t joined them. He’s brought everybody into his environment instead of entering theirs, and it’s such a strong distinction.

Nobody expects Bucky to trust them yet, or even to be at the point of trusting himself around them. But while he keeps himself hidden and keeps those walls up, there’s no trust being built, and no proof being shown to Bucky that he does belong, that he is okay, that he’s wanted, that people aren’t scared of him. And those are all such important things for him to hear and learn right now, and the steps he needs to take towards feeling human again. Until he allows himself to start moving forward, they all just have to… wait.

So days go by. And they all wait.

Until.

Three weeks after Bucky’s arrival, and the team are sitting down to their usual Friday night dinner. Bruce has done the cooking tonight, his food always vastly superior to anybody else’s, and they’re all eagerly awaiting the arrival of the food.

Except there’s another arrival to come first.

"Hey, guys," Steve says quietly from the doorway, and every head turns, silence falling instantly. "Room for two more?"

"Absolutely," Clint says before anybody can let the silence drag out into awkwardness. "You're both always welcome."

"Thanks," Steve says, and guides Bucky to the two free chairs - they’ve been waiting, after all - across from Phil and Clint. Phil smiles reassuringly at Bucky, who returns it hesitantly. His eyes are flitting around the room, and he’s clearly holding Steve’s hand under the table, but he’s here. And that’s what matters.

Natasha picks up her conversation with Pepper after a moment, and everybody else thankfully follows her cue. Within a minute, the noise levels are back at normal, and the next break in the conversation is when Bruce brings in the food. Then there’s more subdued conversations, around mouthfuls of food (or involving mouthfuls of food, as Pepper has to chastise Tony about more than once), involving the usual topics. Thankfully, nobody is going out of their way to try to be normal - that always reads badly.

Phil discreetly watches Bucky, and is pleased to see the tense set of his shoulders slowly relax as time goes on. He isn’t involved in the conversation, but he’s listening to Steve and Thor talk and smiling very softly. He’s got a lovely, genuine smile, and Phil’s happy to see it, no matter how small.

Hell, he’s glad to see _Bucky_. Phil’s tried very hard not to think selfish thoughts, but fuck it, there’s another _sub_ in the building, and Phil’s also always told himself he’s not interested in sub bonding and playdates and shit but apparently he’s wrong. The desire to hang out - to just _be subs_ , so to speak - is overwhelming, and Phil is far too eager for Bucky to reach the point where they can (maybe) do that.

Of course it’s not a priority, or something Phil’s actively working towards. But it’s a positive thought for a hopefully positive future.

When Bruce disappears to get dessert, Phil catches Bucky’s eye. “Loud enough for you?” he asks, gesturing to the table.

“This?” Bucky asks. “This is nothing. Army meals involved twice the noise level and three times the mess.”

Steve laughs. “Damn right. Makes Tony look civilized.”

Bucky smiles. “Food’s better, though,” he says. “Guess some of that’s down to it being the future and all. Lots of good things here.”

“I’ve been teaching him about the internet,” Steve says, and everybody laughs because they all remember Steve’s own lessons - not so much about how to use the technology, but the vast amounts of information it contains. “Yeah,” Steve says with a grin. “We hopped Wikipedia for about three hours straight.”

“Still don’t get the point of a vlog,” Bucky mutters. “But this JARVIS thing is cool. I hear he’s your invention, Tony?”

“Most things in the building are,” Tony says matter-of-factly. “You’re keyed in to JARVIS, by the way. He can get you most things you need, or find you someone else who can. And, as a courtesy question which I fully expect I already know the answer to, do you need your own floor? Because I have plenty, and I don’t mind at all, but I don’t think you two are detaching any time soon.”

“You… don’t mind me moving in?”

“You’re already moved in, aren’t you?”

Bucky looks at Phil, who shrugs. “Technically you’re released into our care, but there’s no expiry date on that, and nothing about needing to go anywhere else. I think you’re free.”

Bucky takes a moment to process that, then nods. “I don’t need a floor,” he says quietly. “I’m happy with Steve. And - and I’m happy to be living here.”

Bruce chooses then to enter, carrying a tray, and Phil smirks as Clint’s eyes light up. "Brownies," Clint says, and makes grabby hands at the tray.

Phil laughs and nudges his shoulder against Clint's. "Save some for everybody else."

"Yeah, yeah." Clint reluctantly only serves himself two brownies, gives one to Phil at his request, and passes the tray over. "You like brownies, James?"

Bucky nods. "Yeah. And um... call me Bucky. If you like."

There's a moment of hushed silence, then Clint smiles. "I do like," he says softly. "Thank you, Bucky."

Bucky smiles too. He glances at Phil, then around the table. "Same for all of you," he says. “We’re... um. We’re friends, right?”

There's a general assent, and nothing but kind and friendly faces. Even Tony knows better than to make a joke at what is clearly a monumental moment.

When Phil looks at Steve, he finds him on the verge of tears, but also smiling so damn wide. The pride and love in his expression is obvious. Bucky glances at him, then sighs and elbows him, muttering something about a _giant fucking sap, Stevie_. He’s smiling as he does, though, looking just a little overwhelmed himself - but so, so happy.

_Welcome to the tower, Bucky_ , Phil thinks to himself as he reaches over and steals half of Clint's second brownie.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is naturally not the end of Bucky's story, just the end of his focus. We'll occasionally check in on him and Steve throughout the series.
> 
> Next fic: see if you can spot the foreshadowing for it in this chapter ;)


End file.
